2023 Week 9 Power Ranklers!!

Hello Everyone!! Welcome to the week 9 power rankings of the upton bowl 2023 season!! 😀👋 I hope you’re all having a good weekend 😊🌟🎉🎈🎆🎇🎊 :3

Without further ado, lets kick it off with the worst of the worst!

That’s right!!! Its Jake!!! Sorry buddy, but in a league where we are all 4-4 you happen to be the only one with a number larger than ‘5’ in your W/L list, and it happens to be on the wrong side. Also, least in PF and most in PA, it truly is an off-year for the boy in the East.

11/10. In next to last place, perhaps the worst spot to be in because it’s not looking great but also you’re not the biggest underdog, or in very last where everyone looks with pity. This is simply the purgatory of the rankings. I’m combing 10 and 11 as I feel these players are in pretty similar positions in different divisions of the league, and I don’t really want to rank one above the other.

Chirs!

Sam Howell is doing good! Also go Hawks! Other than that, Chris’s team is simply not putting up numbers, and if it weren’t for being in the same division as Jake he would be last. But, that’s how being next to last works I guess.

_{¡Sam Howell está haciendo bien! ¡También vamos Hawks! Aparte de eso, el equipo de Chris simplemente no está logrando buenos resultados, y si no fuera por estar en la misma división que Jake, él estaría en el último lugar. Pero supongo que así funciona el estar en penúltimo lugar.}

Gravy Nate!

What can I say, he’s last place in the middle place division. Not exactly inspiring confidence with his 2nd least PF, I don’t exactly see the likes of Mac Jones and Jerome Ford really steppin it up and carrying him upward as the season heads into its later stages

Boring Tier!

Hey, I’m in 7-9th place in my fantasy football league! Yeah, ok buddy, I’m very interested in this conversation. (<3 you all)

9. Justino!

So Rook was supposed to give us something… Has that happened yet? I haven’t noticed anything remarkable about his season. Diggs is doing Diggs things, and Kenneth Walker has been great. Josh Jacobs hasn’t done anything noteworthy and those first few Burrow duds were killer. Obviously I like your pick with Goff, and I think that was a great value pick in the draft.

But actually, Justin happens to be 2nd in his division, but only because it also has two of the 3 people above him on this list. He got lucky there.

8. Daltino

Hey I know what you’re thinking, 5-3 this low on the list!? I know Dalton keeps saying he’s unlucky by being in the best (my) division, but really he somehow has 2nd least PA, and I think if it weren’t for that he’d be doing a little worse than he currently is. Really, I think he could be anywhere from 6th- here so I wouldn’t take this rank too harshly

7. Alex

Fly Alex fly! To the below-average spot in the power rankings! You know what they say, shoot for the stars, if you miss you can say you tried. Gardner Minshew and Dan Jones! EW!

The Middle Management Tier

That’s right, you’ve made it to the above-average tier! The Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 / original Ant-Man / Captian America: Civil War members of the group!

6. Toronto

Honestly I could probably put myself in 6th, but I’m in a harder division and have a better record AND I’M WRITTING THE RANKINGS SUCK IT TRENT you’re right in the thick of it with a chance to take out the Commish himself, will you do it or will you run through the 605 with your woes

5. Marcus

Could I really put a team last in it’s division in the top 4!? I feel like Marcus could be there, but not with the current standings. He’s last in the best (my) division, so he’s still up here with the cool kats, but he’s gotta get out of the middling 4-4 bunch to make it to the top.

4. Corduroy Pete (Me)

2nd place in the hardest (my) division!? Well how bout that. IDK if I can keep it up but boy am I tryin!

S Tier

These guys play dance dance revolution like this

3. Nicko Mode

After your slander from last week I can’t believe that I’m putting you this high but here you go champ. You’re first in your stinky doo-doo division so maybe I should’ve bumped you down but 1st is 1st. *Sigh*

2. Mason?

How the hell did you get up here? No one on your team is top 10 at their position other than Mark Andrews? Seriously how? Guess we see the advantages of a high floor team here folks

1. GIRLBOSS GASLIGHT GATEKEEP

DAMMNNNNN first place in the hardest (my) division?? Ok that’s some girlboss material. Not making any waiver wire transactions till now and then bidding high enough no one else can get players? So Gatekeep girl. Making people think you’re bad at fantasy and then popping off? So gaslight. We <3 to see it